Urdu Jokes - Jokes in Urdu

• maan pehli bar apne bete ko school chorne gai to master se kehne lagi.mera bacha bohot darpok    or nazuk mazaj hay ap ise kabi marye ga nahi.agar yeh shararat kare ya sabak yaad na kare to      ap is ke samne kisi dosre bachy ko pet dalein.is se hi ye dar jaye ga.

• majistrate: chor se tum ne yeh cycle kune chorai?                                                                             mulzim: hazoor ye cycle muje kabristan main pari hoi mili.main ye samja ke is ka malik mar gya hay.

• aik admi ghabraya hoa doctor ke pas aya,kehne laga.doctor sahab gazab ho gya humare nanne    mian ne petrol pee liyaab halat ye hay ke pure ghar main dhorta phirta hay.                                                                                      doctor sahab ne nihayat itmanan se jawab diya.ghabrao nahi makan ke darwaze band kar dojab         petrol khatam ho jaye ga nanne mian khud hi ruk jayein gain.

• bab:beta!agar tum mehnat karo ge to tumhari shohrat dunya ke charo kono main pehl jaye gi.beta:lekin master sahab to keh rehy the ke zamin gol hay.

• ustaad bato 1974 main kon sa bara wakya pash aya?                                                                  shagird: janab is din mera bara bhai peda hoa tha.

• ustaad: itni der se kune aye ho?                                                                                                 Shagird :jee meri aman ka intekal ho gya tha.                                                                                     ustaad: be kheyali se khabar dar jo esa aynda esa hoa.

• ustaad:tum ne english ka kaam kiya.shagird:yes sir.                                                            ustaad:  riazi ka                                                                                                                              shagird:yes sir.                                                                                                                           ustaad:  tum to bare kamal ke larke ho.                                                                                           shagird:  nahi sir main to jamal ka larka hun.

• doctor:maloom hota hay mere duai se ap ko fayda ho raha hay.                                               mareez: tna nahi jitna aap ko muj se ho raha hay.

• aik dost:kal main minare pakistan se gir parah tha.                                                                                 dosra:bach kese gye?                                                                                                                  pehla:maloom nahi.meri to girte hi ankh khul gai.

• maan ne bete ko akhbar se khabren sunate hoye kaha.                                                                             behnc ne aik school master par  hamla kar diya.
• muna kehne laga.magar anni ise yeh kese pata chala ke woh school master hay.

• ustaad: riazi kise kehte hain.                                                                                                         shagird:riaz ki bewi ko.

• aik dehati sher main ghum raha tha ke achanak aik gadhe ne is ko lat mar di. jawab main dehati ne bhi gadhe ko teen char laten rased kar dein or bola to kya samajta hay.agar  tu sher main rehta hay to hum kya kisi se kam hain.

• aik salesmen cricket ka bohot shokin tha.aik dafa woh dor daraz aik kasbe main gya to is ne makami dokan dar se pucha,yahan koi team bhi hay?                                                                                 bilkul hay kal match bhi khele gi,dokan dar ne jawab diya.                                                                         muje bhi khela lein gain woh log?salesmen ne phir kaha.                                                                         zaror khelain gain kal medan main aa jana,dokandar ne jawab diya.salesmen ne dokan dar se mukamal kit kheridi or agle roz woh nai kit pehn kar medan main aa pohncha,dokandar bhi wahin  majood tha.kesa lag raha hun?sales men ne dokandar se pocha. jach rehy ho dokan dar ne jawab diya.lekin match to football ka hay.

• Aik dafa aik sardar jee ne liberary se katab li or jab agle din wapis karne aye to liberarian se  kaha”oof itni bore katab cracter hain or story bilkul bhi nahi.”. Janab aap who pehly shaks hain jo mutale ke liye telephone directory le kar gye the”liberatian ne jawab diya.

• Ustaad .….baraf ko jumle main istamal karo.                                                                            Shagird ……lekin janab hum to baraf ko pani main istamal karte hain.

• Saik shaks ko chiria ghar main nokri mil gai.nokri ye thi ke who mukarar waqt par chete ki khal pehn kar chete ke pinjare main beth jaye.chete ke sath wala pinjara shar ka tha,dono pinjaron ke darmian aik darwaza tha,aik din who darwaza khula reh gya or shar chete ke pinjare main aa gay to cheta nama shaks chalane laga.shar aa gya shar aa gya,shar cheta nama shaks ke kan ke    kareeb aa kar bola,yar nokri se kud bhi jaye ga or muje bhi niklwaye ga.

• Mohale ke dokan dar ne tezi se bhagte hoye Ahsan ko dekhato ruk kar poucha”aare Ahsan beta itni jaldi main kahan bhage ja rehy ho?’                                                                                     “ancle darasal main who larkon ko apas main larne se rok raha hun.”                                                    Ahsan ne hamte hoye jawab diya.
• Kon hain who do larke?”dokan dar ne poucha.                                                                                              Aik Amiir or dosra main”.                                                                                                                             Ahsan ne jawab diya.

• Daftar main mulazmat ke uneedwar se pocha ke is ne purani nokri kune chor di”malkan ne muje  esi baat keh di thi jo muje bilkul achi na lagi”.umeed war ne jawab diya.  Kya keh diya tha unho ne”.                                                                                                                               Yehi ke dosri mulazmat dhond lo.

• Ghar aaye mehman ne ruksat hote waqt mezban ke bete ko 100 rope ka note diya”lo beta magar  ise souch samaj ke kharch karna”tum ne suna hi ho ga ke bewakofon ke pas ropia therta hi nahi”  “jee han uncle”bache ne sanjedgi se sir halaya or phir note lehrate hoye bola”jese ye aap ke pas     nahi tehra”.

• Fari(Sidra) se kuch chuntian katar ban kar aik darwaze ke nechy se guzar rehi thin.sab chuntian   guzar gain magar aik chunti andar na ja saki.kune?sidra (bohot der souchne ke bad) us ka dil nahi kar raha tha andar jane ko.Fari….nahi….is ka dil kar raha tha magar who kosish ke bawajood andar na ja saki?is liye ke is chunti ne pencil heel pehn rakhi thi.

Urdu Jokes: 1 2 3 4 5 6

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