Urdu Jokes - Urdu Lataaif - Urdu Lateefy

• Aik daffa bas main cricket team ke kuch khalari safar kar rehy the or apas main lar jhagar rehy the.aik buzargan ki waja se bohot guse main the .jab in se raha na gya to uth kar bole.Allama Iqbal ne such hi kaha tha.                                                                                                                         Utha ke phenk do gali main bahir                                                                                                                     Nai tehzeeb ke annde hain gande                                                                                                                                Aik khalari khara ho kar bola”baba jee Allama Iqbal ne ye us waqt kaha tha jab aap jawan the,hum to us waqt peda hi nahi hoye the.”

• Aik nanna school se ghar aya to ammi se kaha”ammi bhook se pate main dard ho raha hay”.                                                                                                  Is ki ammi ne jaldi se khana lagya or kaha”zahir hay pate main kuch ho ga nahi to dard to ho ga” Shaam ko bacha jab homework kar raha tha to bara bhai andar aya or kehne laga”ke ammi sir main bohor dard hay”nanne ne foran kaha zahir hay jab sir main kuch ho ga nahi to sir main dard      to ho ga.”

• Ustaad:”shaigrd se, sab bachon  ne dood par 2 safon ka mazmon likha hay Or tum ne 2 satron ka……kune?                                                                                                                     Shagird “janab main ne khalis dood par mazmon likha hay.

• Aik dost(dosre se)main aj ehad kiya hay ke main aynda shart nahi lagaon ga.                                                                                                         Dosra dost lekin tum esa nahi kar sako ge.                                                                                                      Pehla dost shart laga lo.

• Kisi behri jahaz main kain log safar kar rehy the achanak aik chota sa bacha samandar main ja gira,jahaz main halchal mach gai,thori der bad aik nojawan bachy ko good main liye samandar se nikal aya.logo ne is ki bahadari ki tareef ki.                                                                                                                   Nojawan bola:”who sab to thek hay magar ye batao,ke muje Dhaka kis ne diya tha.

• Aik admi kabrastan se guzar raha  tha .aik kutba nazar aya,jis par likha tha imandar or  impaior..nanne kodoo ne kuch der socha or barbarane laga                                                              Ajeeb baat likhi hay Ampaior or imantdar …..kya esa ho sakta hay.

• Aik bachy ne apni nani aman se pocha.nanni jan”aap drama artist hain                                                                  Nanni ne heran ho kar kaha,nahi bete tumhein kis ne kaha.                                                                       Bacha sadgi se bola……..nanni jan raat ko abu ammi se kah rehy the ke who aa gain hain boria  ab ghar main roz roz drame hoa Karen gain.

• Ustaad ne bachon se sawal kiya ke bajat kise kehte hain?                                                                                     Aik shagird ne uth kar kaha,ke janab bajat aik esa tareka hay jis se aap kharch ke bad pareshan hone ki bajaye kharch karne se pehly pareshan hote hain.

• School ke aik talbeilm ne kanteen ke here ko bola kar 10 ropy ka note thama diya.                                                                                                             Aap ke liye kya laon.                                                                                                                       Kuch nahi.                                                                                                                                                   To phir aap ne ye tip kune di here ne pocha.                                                                                               Main thori der bad aone doston ke hamrah aaon ga.tum ne kehna hay samose or shammi kabab nahi hain sirf chaye hay.

• Kisi molak ka badshah fot ho gya is ka janaza bohot dhoom dham se utha to ye dekh kar aik  admi ne kaha.                                                                                                                                                “kaash aaj badshsh salamat zinda hote to apnr janaze ki shaan or shokat dekh kar kis kadar kush  hote.

• Aik dost dosre se”makhi or machar main kya fark hay.                                                                              Dosra dost makhi moayne karti hay,or machar teka lagata hay.

• Kisi shaks se aik admi ne pocha”ap kehrat kis tarhan dete hain                                                                     Is ne kaha”hum aik dayra bana kar bech main aik lain khinch kar apna ropya upar ki taraf uchal dete hain jo dayein janab girta hay hum khud rakh lete hain or jo bayein taraf girta hay who hum kherat ke tor par fakiron main bant dete hain”.                                                                                                                Aik bohot mhi kanjoos shaks se jab ye sawal pocha gyato is ne kaha.                                                                            “hum apna ropya upar uchal dete hain jo upar reh jaye who Allah ke naam par or jo nechy reh jaye who khud rakh lete hain.

• Aik ustaad bachy ko barha raha tha.unho ne bachy se pocha.                                                                                “kya aapne urdu ki katab ka ka nowan baab parh lea hay?”                                                                   ye sun kar class ke tamam bacho ne hath utha liye.ustaad bole,naliko kune jhoot bolte ho urdu ki katab main to sirf 8 baab hain.

• Aik afimi (dosre se)”yar bari sarak ko to main road kehte hain choti sarak ko kya kehte hain?”                                                                                                    Dosra afimi”aare paal choti sarak ko women road kehte hain.”

• Aik bache ne phone kiya to galti se journal store ka number mil gya,unho ne socha kune na kuch baatein kar lein jayen                                                                                                                                    Unho ne kaha:”han jee!aap ke pas soji hay?”dokan dar ne kaha jee han!                                               Sahib ne phir pocha”chini or ghee bhi yakenan ho ga”.                                                                                    Jee han hain”dokan dar khush hoa or order ka muntezar tha.                                                                   Dosri taraf se jawab aya”to phir aap halwa kune nahi paka lete?”

• Aik teacher ne bache ko parhate hoye kaha ke lekhna ko English main (write) kehte hain.” Kareeb se aik dosre teacher guzar rehy the ke unho ne suna to kehne lage ke app (wrong) parha rehy hain is baat par dono ki larai ho gai or dono principal ke pas gye or waja batai,principal ne  dono ki goftago suni or kaha”aap dono ko hi knolege nahi hay”

• Angrez police officer kadi ko jail chorne ja raha tha ke is ka hat teez hawa se door ja gira .                                                                                              Kya main bhag kar ise le aon?”                                                                                                                   Kadi ne sadat mandi se officer se pocha                                                                                                       Police officer bola.”tumhara kya khyal hay main bewakoof hun?tum yahin tehro main kudh le kar  ata hun.

• Aik shaks chat se gir kar dono tangain torwa betha.aik dost ne eyadat karte hoye kaha”samaj    main nahi aata ke tumhari tangain kese tot gain.”                                                                                       Who chir kar bola,tum chat se chalang laga kar dekh lo tangein kese totti hain,.

• Gaon main aik bore ajnabee ne bache se poch.beta mere hum umer ke log is waqt kahan milein gain?                                                                                                                                   Bacha……jee…….who kabristan main.

• Gahak…… bahre se …….dekho chaye main makhi ter rehi hay.                                          Behra……hazor,agar is ko terna nahi aata to bechari kab ki doob gai hoti.

• Police officer tum is ghar main kune guse the?                                                                                   Chor bari sadgi se janab khush amded ka board parh kar.

• Ustaad…… fiaz se kya waja hay tum school roz der se ate ho?                                                              Fiaz……….janab kya karon.ye chaprasi mere ane se pehly hi khanti baja deta hay.

• Usraad bache se tumhare walid ka kya naam hay?                                                                                   Bacha janab bijli din.                                                                                                                               Ustaad, bijli din yeh kesa naam hay?                                                                                                  Bacha janab pehly un ka naam chrag din tha.lekin jab se science ne taraki ki haytab se unho ne apna naam bijli din rakh diya hay.

• Ustaad shagird se:koi masal do ke sardion main cheezein sokarti hain or garmi main pehlti hain?                                                                                      Shagird ……. janab garmion main chotian phel kar dhai mehene ki oe sarion main sukar kar 15 din ki ho jati hain.

• Nanne Raju se baab ne pocha,Raju …….Allah ne hum ko beat kune diya hay.                                                                                                                                      Nanna jo masomiat se bola nikar bandane ke liye.

• Mele main aik bacha apni maan se bechar gya.us ne aik sapahi ko rok kar pocha.  Kya ap ne meri ammi ko bachy ke bager kahin jate dekha hay?

• Molvi sahab (bache se) “parho beta h se halwa han shabash halaq se nikalo”.                                                                                                           Bache ki maan ne andar se ghabra ke kaha”molvi sahab! Aap bache ke halaq se halwa na  nikalwayen main or bana deti hun.

• Ustaad”Akbar kab peda hoa or kab wafat pai?”                                                                                  Shagird”muje nahi pata”.                                                                                                                        Ustaad “apni tarekh ki katab main dekho”.                                                                                         Shagird”1605-1549”.                                                                                                                                            Ustaad “tum ne ye pehly kune nahi parha”                                                                                      Shagird”main samja ke ye in ka telephonr number hay”

• Aik makha or makhi film dekh kar canema se bahir aye.thori or dor pedal chalne ke bad makha ne makhi se pocha.                                                                                                                            Begam”pedal chalein ya kuta kar lain.

• Aik kanjoos admi ne apne bachon se kaha.                                                                                                      “jo raat ka khana nahi khaye ga main us ko 1 ropya dun ga”                                                                             sab bache 1 rope ki khatar bhoke so gye.                                                                                                                                            Subha naste ke waqt in ke baab ne sab ko aik aik ropya diya or phir bole                                             “nashta is ko mile ga jo aik ropya wapis kare ga.

• Nakho ka doctor marez ko ate dekh kar bola.                                                                                               “who aap ki nazar wakein kharab hay”                                                                                                         magar ap ko kese pata chala?”marez heran ho kar boladoctor ne sakoon se jawab diya.Kune ke aap darwaze ki jaga kherki se andar aye hain.

• Aik bekari dono hathon main kashkol uthaye bheek mang raha tha.                                                                Aik admi ne pocha”baba ye dono hathon main kashkol kun utha rakhein hain”.                                          Fakir ne kaha”barte hoye karobar ki waja se main ne aik oe branch khol li hay”

• Zehni amraz ke hospital main aik marez ko ruksat karte hoye doctor ne kaha. “aap humare alaj se sehatyab ho gain hain umeed hay ke aap ab to humhare bil ada kar dein gain?”                                                                                                                                                             marez ne shayana lehje main bola”kune nahi agar hum ne tumhara chand lakh ka hakir bill ada   na kiya to humhein Akbar Badshah kun kehy ga.

• Aik Tajar (dosre se) “ye dekhein    …..  aap ka beta meri chawal ki borion se chawal nikal kar apni borion main bhar raha hay.                                                                                                                    Dosra tajar”who zara pagal hay”.                                                                                                          Pehla tajar”agar pagal hay to apni borion se chawal nikal kar apni borian kune nahi bharta?”                                                                                                     Dosra tajar ab who itna pagal bhi nahi hay.

• Aik bacha jaldi se ghar dakhal hoa or bulb par apne baap ka naam likh kar bulb jala diya. Maan ne pocha.”beta ye kya kar rehy ho?”                                                                                              Bache ne kaha,baap ka naam rosan kar raha hun.

• Abu ……Abu hum bhi chacha jaan ke sath hospital jayein gain.bacho ne zid ki.                                                                                                                               Aary tum wahan kya karo ge aba jaan ne pocha.                                                                                    Bachy bole aba jaan hum chahca jan ko rote hoye dekhein gain.

• Ustaad(shagird se)main ne tum ko tarekh yaad karne ke liye kaha tha.                                                                Kya sab ne tarekh yaad ki hay?                                                                                                                    Sab sharidon ne jee ki awaz lagai  .                                                                                                         Acha tum batao sakeeb.                                                                                                                             Sakeeb bola”janab aj jauray ki 10 tarekh or 2008 hay

• Aik bache ne dosre bache se pocha. Toto mian kya tum ne meri billi dekhi.                                                                                                                                 Toto ! tumhari billi ki kya nashani hay?.                                                                                                        Pehla bacha:meri billi miaon miaon karti hay.

• Uataad: MBBS                                                                                                                               Shagird:mian bewi bachon samed.

• Baap bete se dekho hamesha baron ki izat kiya karo.                                                                           Beta:aba jaan isi liye to main ne master sahab ke sawal ka jawab nahi diya or unho ne muje class se nikal diya.

• Aik admi ne chingchi ke driver se kaha station ke kitne paise lo ge?       Driver:bhai sahab station meri malkiat nahi jo main is ke paise lun.

• Baap bete se dekho Amir………tumhari lekhai bohot kharab hay.apni  lekhai khush khat karo.                                                                       Amir…….s.aba jaan bhala muje is ki kya zarorat haymain to bara ho kar doctor bana chahta hun.

• Maan ne bete se kaha,mere chand khana kha lo.                                  Beta,main abu ke sath khaon ga.                                                   Maan:tumhare abu showa hain jo in ke sayh roti khao ge.

Urdu Jokes: 1 2 3 4 5 6

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