Urdu Jokes - Urdu Lataaif - Urdu Lateefy

• Ustaad(latif se)batao hamalia pahar kahan hay?                                            Latif muje nahi maloom.                                                                               Ustaad table par khare ho jao.                                                                        Latif sir kya table par khare  hone se hamalia ke pahar nazar aa jaye ga.

• Aaj kal ke bache TV dekhne ke bohot shokin ho gye hain.is shok ka asar bhi in par hoa hay.aik 6 saala bache ko TV dekhne ka bohot shok tha.is ki walda bemar ho gain.baap ne daftar se phone kar ke pocha ke maan ki tabiyat kisi hay?.                                                                                                                    Bete ne jawab diya:tasveer thek hay or awaz kharab hay.

• Bete ne kaha ke abu muje school main jormana ho gya hay.                               Acha who kese.                                                                                                 Main kal school late gya tha is liye.                                                              Baap ne guse se kaha”nalik kahin ke,main tumhein school parhane ke liye bejta hun letne ke liye nahi.

• Ustaad(larkon se)kal main ne tumhein dost ke naam khat likhne ko       kaha tha.kiya who likh laye ho?                                                                    Larke jee han.                                                                                                             Ustaad lao dastakhat kar dun.                                                                       Larke janab who to hum letter box main bhi dal ayein hain.

• Doctor ne marez ko noskha likh kar diya or kaha”agar is noskhe se            faida ho to muje zaror itelah kart dena.                                                         Marez”who kune?                                                                                             Kune ke muje bhi yehi taklif hay.

• Ustaad batao khala bazi kise kehte hain.                                                      Sohail janab jo khala main ja kar bazi pakre.

• Aik pop singer ko aik sahib ne ghar gana sonane ke liye bolaya.gulu kar ne bare style se pocha.                                                                                       “sab se pehly kon sa gana sunao”.                                                                  “koi sa bi sona do humhein parosion se makan khali karwana  hay”inho ne jawab diya.

• Bacha(dokan dar se) chini hay?                                                                          Dokan dar jee han.                                                                                                   Bacha ghee hay?                                                                                        Dokan dar “jee han”.                                                                                       Bacha soji hay?                                                                                                 Dokan dar jee han                                                                                    Bacha”to phir halwa kune nahi bana lete.

• Aik admi main bohot jald naha leta hun.kune ke main sabon istamal nahi karta .                                                                                                                   Dosra or main tum se bhi pehly naha leta hun.                                               Kune ke main pani istamal nahi karta.

• Aik bhora apne doston main betha bohot fakhar se keh raha tha”mian humara to borape ne kuch na begara.hum to ese hi hain jese jawani main the.                                                                                                                   Is ke sathi ne pocha kya matlab .                                                                                   Bore ne jawab diya”who mere samne pather rakha hay ise hum ne jawani main uthane ki kosish ki thi.na us waqt utha or na hi hum se ab uthta hay.

• Nanna school se hejani kefiat main aya.is hampte hoye kaha,ammi ap ko aik achi or aik buri khabar sunata hun”                                                                    ammi ne kaha.Kon si?                                                                                                             Achi khabar ye hay ke main pass ho gya hun.                                            Bohot khub ammi ne khush ho kar kaha,or buri khabar kon si hay.pehli khabar galat hay.

• Jail ka dora karne wale samaji karkon ne ail maskin kadi se     kaha,tumhein yakinan gurbat ne is hal tak pohncaya ho gagorbat aksar insano ko jurm karne par majboor kar deti hay”                                                          Jee nahi…….kadi ne thandi saans le kar kaha”muje to zyada dolat ne  jail behja hay…….main jail note chap raha tha…..or kuch zyada hi chap betha tha.

• Ustaani:bacho!dua karo ke humare molak se sare jarayim khatam ho jayein.sab bachon ne dua ke liye hath uthaye.magar aik bache ne hath na uthaya.ustaani ne is se pochatum kune dua nahi mang rehy? Beche ne jawab diya.”mere abu karaim repoter hain.agar humhare molik se jarayim khatam ho gya to humara guzara kese ho ga..

• Hawai jahaz parwaz ke liye tyar khara tha.pilot screen ki taraf dekh raha tha.ke aik dehati musafar is ke kabin main dakhal hoa or pilot se bola”tum ne jahaz main patrol bhar liya hay”.                                                                                  Pilot ne kaha ye aap kya keh rehy hain.                                                              Musafor ne jawab diya”is liye ke raste main agar petrol khatam ho jaye to tum ye na kaho ke”chalo utro or Dhaka lagao.

• Aik bacha TV par hockey ka match dekh raha tha,akhar who tang aa kar apni ammi se bola.                                                                                                         Ammi! Akhar ye aik gand ke liye kune lar rehy hain.ye apni alag alag  gand kune nahi le lete. 

• Beta:ammi aj main ne dawat main itna khaya ke main pedal chal bhi nahi sakta.is liye rakshe par aya hun.                                                        Maan:”tumhein sharam aani chahye tumhare abu ko dawat ke bad  charpai par dal kar late the.

• Aik larka canema ke samne roh raha tha.khuda ke liye muje 30 ropy de do.main ne apni ammi ke pas jana hay.                                                                               Aik admi ko tars aa gya.is ne ise 30 ropy de diye or pocha tumhare ammi abu kahan hay.                                                                                                         Larka”who cenema ke annder film dekh rehy hain.

• Pehla larka”mere abu ke asharee par tamam garian ruk jati hain” Dosra”kya wohbara officer ya pehlwan hain?                                                  Pehla larka nahi …….who traffic police main hain.

• Kanjoos baap(appne bete se) agar main tum ko das ropy dun to tum is ka kya karo ge? .                                                                                                   Beta”aap ko wapis de dun ga.                                                                         Baap”who kune”.                                                                                               Beta “who is liye ke mere so jane ke bad aap mere takie ke neche se nikal lein gain socha kune na abhi wapis kar dun.

• Toto mian ande kharidne market gya.dokan dar se pocha bhai ande kese dein gain.                                                                                                   Dokan dar tote hoye 20 rope darjan or sabat 30 ropy darjan.                            Toto mian ye sabat ande tor kar aik darjan is tokri main dal do.

• Aik sakari”dosre sakari se,main ne kawet main 100 chete mare hain?  Dosra bola magar koiat main to chete hote hi nahi.                                    Pehly ne kaha:hun gain kaha se,main ne sab chete khatam jo kar diye hain.

• Ustaad”shagird se jis molak main zyada barish hoti ho to us molak main zyada kya cheese peda hoti hay?                                                
• Shagird. Janab har taraf kichar hi kichar.

• Aik sahab”mosawar se acha to app who mashoor mosawar hain                jinhein janwaron ki tasweer banane ka kamal hay.                                  Mosawar jee han kya aap ka bhi tasweer banane ka arada hay.

• Bacha (sapai se)tum bare darpok maloom hote ho.                                           Sapahi who kese.                                                                                        Bacha kune ke tum har waqt apne kande par bandok rakhe phirte ho.

• Inspector (mosafor se) tum bager ticket safor kune kar rehy ho.      Musafor:janab ab molak azad hay,hum bhi azad hain,ye railein humhari hain’,yeh cheezein humhari hain phir ticket kesa.                                         Inspector to phir ye jailein bhi to app ki hain or wahan tashref le chalein.

• Chori kr mulzam se:tum ne aik chori ke bad dosri chori kune ki?              Molzam to kya karta wakeel ki fees kahan se azad karta.

• Hathi chuhe se”ye pahla moka hay ke main ne tum jesihakeer or kamzor cheeze par nazar dali hay”.                                                                             Chuha”zara tehrye !main aap ke baat likh lun kune ke yehi baat muje aik kere se bhi kahni hay.

• Aik dost dosre dost se “jab tum mere ghar aao to kohni se dastak   dena”dosra dost”magar hath se kune nahi?”pehla dost “kya tum mere ghar khali hath aao ge.”

• Dokan ka malik naiye molazim se “tumhain humare munshi ne kaam  samja liya hay.                                                                                    Molazim”jee han inho ne muje samja diya hay ke jab main ap ko dokan ki taraf ate dekun to ap ko jaga diya karun.

• Do dost bazaar main mile.pehla dost aj kal kya kar rehy ho?                          Dosra “furniture ka karobar.                                                             Pehla”karobar kesa chal raha hay.                                                                Dosra kuch nahi pata,to apne ghar ka furniture bech raha hun yaar .

• Bewi sohar se aaj barah clock dewar se neche gir gya,aik lamhe        pehly girta to ammi ka sir kochal jata.                                                                Sohar main to shoro se hi clock ki sost raftari ka rona rota rehta hun.

• Baap bete se,tum ne morgi ke ande kune tore?                                        Beta,main ne socha bache dam ghutne se mar na jayein .

• Anar kali bazaar main sekh dekh kar bohot se log akhate ho  gye hajoom akhata hote dekh kar sadar jee itmenan se bole  Bhai”dekhte jao ,guzarte jao,

• Begum sohar se,kitchen se phaldar plate le aao”                                       Sohar ne thori dair bad aa kar bataya ke kitchen main esi koi plate nahi hay.                                                                                                          Bewi boli muje pata thake tumhein nahi mile gi,isi liye main pehly    hi utha lai.

• Beta baap se abu muje so ropy ki zarorat hay.                                                                       Beta main tumhein paise de kar tum par zulm kar raha hun.                                                                       Koi baat nahi abu main yeh zulm bardast kar lun ga.

• Aik nojawan ka interview ho raha tha interview lene wale sahab ne    kaha”batao gapoo jee gapoo jee gom gom ka kya matlab hay?” larka mayosi se “sir is ka matlab hay muje job nahi mil sakti.

• Nanne gudoo ne apne dost se pocha agar raat ko soraj nikal aye    to  kya ho ga.                                                                                                        Gapoo:bohot bura ho ga,phir raat ko bhi school jana pare ga.

• Fakir bache se aik ropy ka sawal hay? Bacha jee baba jee,is tarhan sawal hal nahi hota,copy par lekh kar do.

• Judge mulzim se tumhein phansi ki saza di jati hay.                                Mulzim is zilat se mot behtar hay.

• Ustaad (shaird se) batao dolat or mehnat main kya fark hay.                                                                                             Shagird “jo rakam hum kisi ko karz dete hain who dolat hay or is ko wapis lene ke liye jo dhake khane parte hain who mehnat hay.

• Rashid ke abu Lahore ja rehy the inho ne rashid se kaha”main hawai           jahaz se Lahore ja raha hun tumhare liye kya laon?                                   Rashid ne kaha abu parson meri patang kat gai thi agar mil jaye to le              aye ga.

Urdu Jokes: 1 2 3 4 5 6

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