Funny Short Jokes for Kids in Urdu – 1

1: Aik khatoon nai hatty katty bhikari se kaha “ager tum gher ka kam kaj karo tu me tmhy khana khila sakti hon” bhikari ne kuch socha phir bola thek hai “lakin pahly menu dikhaiye”

2: Aik baray doctor se waqt leny kay lia maheenon intezar kerna perta hai. Aik din ye doctor sahib bina itla diye aik marez kay gher pohanch gaye. Marez buhut khush ho ker kahny laga “ap nay bari inayat ki kay ap tashreef lay aye lakin ap nay ghaliban aglay maheny ka waqt dia tha. Mareez ki bat sun ker doctor muskuraya or bola “darasal hoa yah kay tumharey paros me ik mareez ko dekhney ana para tu wo mar chukka tha. Me nay socha jab yahan aa he gaya hon tu ik teer se do shikar kerta chalon”

3: malik noker se: tum kyun ro rahy ho billi tu meri mari he.

Noker: janab ab me dodh peny ka ilzam kis pe lagaon ga??

4: Aik dost dosrey dost se: ager dunya me pani khatam hu jaye tu kia huga ?….

Dosra dost: dodh tu khalis mily ga.

5: Tariq: ao yar ghomnay chaltey hain.

Asad: ghomnay key lia kahin janey ki kia zarorat hai yahin kharey kharey ghom lety hain.

6: Circus k malik ney ailan kia kay aj circus me dakhla muft hai. Ya ailan suntey he logon ki aik bari tadad circus me dakhil hugai. Jab program khatam hua tu manager ney bahir nikalney wala gate band kerdia or ailan kia kay circus dekhney ka koi ticket nahi bahir jany ka ticket das rupay fee admi hey.

7: Ustad ney bachy se kaha “batao bijli kahan sey ati hai” bachay ney jawab dia “sir merey mamu key gher se”. Ustad herat se “ wo kesey?”…….. bacha masomiat se bola “sir jab bhi light jati hai tu merey abu kahty hain salon ney phir light band kerdi”

8: Gahak sabzi waley se: ager sabzi achi na hoi tu paki pakai wapis.

Sabzi wala: ager hu saky tu do rotiyan  bhi lay ana.

9: Mareez doctor se: doctor sahib jab mera sedha hath thek hu jaye ga tu me dholak baja sakon ga.

Doctor: kyun nahi tum zaror baja sako gay.

Mareez: wah kesi achi bat hai. Hadsay se pahley tu mujhay dholak bajana ati he nahi thi.

10: Head master lerkay se: tum baghair ijazat ander kyun aye hu.

Lerka: janab me ijazat leney he tu ander aya hon.

11: Aik dost dosrey dost se: kal ju tum ney mujh se shirt li thi wo wapis kerdo. Wo tu mene dhulnay dey di dosrey dost ney jawab dia. Ary yah kia kya ???  pahlay dost ney afsos se kaha. Poray Hindustan ki tareekh uski asteenon me thi.

12: Pehla afeemi dosrey se: aj kia tareekh hai.

Dosra afeemi: aj tees tareekh hai.

Pehla afeemi: me tareekh poch raha hon san nahi.

13: Ami munnay se: ya baraber waley kamrey me kon ro raha hai.

Munna: rota kon hai wo tu abu apney dost ko gana suna rahey hain.

14: Malik: tum billi ko kyun chawal khila rahey hu ?? mene tumhey  murghi ko chawal khilaney ko kaha tha.

Noker: janab murghi billi key pait me hai.

15: Aik dost dosrey dost se: batao omlet kisey kahtey hain.

Dosra dost: jo aam dair se pakta hai usay omlet kahtey hain.

16: Aik sahib jahaz me sawar honey ja rahey thay. jab unho ne sedhion pe qadam rakha tu air hostess ne unhey rukney k lia kaha “wait please” wo sahib yakdam boly “ 80 pond”

17: Doctor: me apky bachey kay dant nikalney kay 200 rupey longa.

Maa: lakin apny tu 50 rupey bataya tha.

Doctor: han mager dant nikalwatey waqt apka bacha itni zor se roya key merey teen mareez bhag gaye.

18: Dukan ka malik apny naye mulazim se “tumhey munshi ne achi tarah kam samjha dia hey na??

Mulazim: jee janab! Unho ne samjha dia hey k jesey he apko ata dekhon unhey jaga don.

19: Nani amma ne munney se kaha: “betey….. jab tumhey khansi aya karey tu monh key agay hath rakh lia karo.

Munney ne kaha: “nani amma….. ap fiker na karain merey dant app ki tarah naqli nahi hain.

20: Bap betey se: tum ya kyun samajhtey hu key police waley jannat me nahi ja saktey.

Beta: Is lia key wahan kerney key lia unkey pas koi kam nai huga.

21: Judge mulzim se: tum jantey hu jhot bol key tumhey kahan jana huga??

Mulzim: dozakh me.

Judge: or such bol key???

Mulzim: sarkari jail khaney me.

22: Aik shakhs bohat ghair hazir dimagh tha. Aik din wo subha so ker utha tu usey yad aya key budh ko aik khatoon key han khaney pe jana tha. Wo behad pareshan hoa or phone ki taraf dora. “My Dear! me bohat mazrat khoah hon”. Uski sans phool rahi thi. Budh ko na aney ki waja se me bohat sherminda hon. Na janey me kesey bhool gaya maherbani ker key app kisi or din mujhey bula lo. Dosri taraf dair tak khamoshi rahi or phir khatoon ki awaz sunai di. “kis bat ki mazrat? Tum budh ko dawat me mojod tu they.

23: Mota admi dublay admi se: tumhey dekh key aisa lagta hey jesey dunya me qahat per gaya ho.

Dubla admi: or tumhey dekh key aisa lagta hey jesey yah qahat tumhari waja se para ho.

24: Aik bacha gali me khail raha tha. samney waley makan se aik kutta nikla or is key paon chatney laga. bacha rota hua gher agya.

Maa ney pocha: “ ro kyun rahey hu?? Kahin parosi key kuttey ne tu nahi kat lia.”

Bacha bola: “ abhi tu chakh key gaya hey. Katney tu kal aye ga.”

25: Ustad: “bhens ki kitni tangain  hoti hain??

Shagird: “sir! Yah tu koi bewaqoof bhi bata day ga.

Ustad: ise lia tu tum se poch raha hon.

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