Urdu Jokes – Funny Urdu/ Hindi Jokes in Roman English Writing

A large collection of top funny Urdu jokes in Roman English writing.

Funny Urdu/ Hindi Jokes:

  • Fakeer (beggar) to Lady:Ek Fakeer ghar k pass Awaz lga raha tha:Koi Babay nu roti khawa doBaba Rice v khaa lenda aehBaba ice cream v khaa lenda

    Baba burger v khaa lenda aeh

    Baba sandwich v khaa lenda aeh

    Ghar k andar se awaz aai

    Baba Jutiyan v Khaa lenda aeh

    Baba: Nae Putter Babay nu sakht ghaza mana he

 

  • Aik film star nay apnay baitay say uss ki progress report laitay howay kaha … baita mujhay yaqeen hai kay tu imtaihaan mein numayaa kamyabi haasil ho gi ?? … baitay ne jawab dia .. bilkul abu school walo nay mujhay aik saal kay liyay sign kar lia hai …
  •  Aik bacha gali mein khail raha tha samnay wali makan sa aik kutta nikla aur iss kay paoon chatnay laga bacha roa howa ghar aaya …… maa nay pocha …   kyoun ro rahay ho ? kaheen paroosi kay kutay nahi kaat tu nahi lia …  bacha bola  …abhi tu chak kar gia hai katnay tu kaal aay ga …

 

  • Class mein larkoo ki shararat say tang aa kar ustad nay inhay sidha lait kar cycle ki tarhan tangeeen chalanay kay liyay kaha …. aik larka thori dair chalanay kay bad rook gia ……ustad nay osay danta tu os nay kaha ..sir mein chain uter gaye ….

 

  • Aik haathy (elephant) aur chunty (ant) aik motor bike per ja rahay hottay hain k rasty main aik pull (bridge) aa jata hai, chunty kehti hai: hathi main pull cross ho jay ga ya k main utron ?.

 

  • Aik umeedwar ka interview ho raha tha aur osay yaqeen tha kay woh yeh mulazmat zarror haasil kar lay ga,  interview kay akhir mein interview lainay walay sahab nay poucha kay acha yeh bataeen kay gapoo ge gapoo gee goom goom ka kia matlab hai , umeedwar nay phalay bhuhat socha phir mayousi say bola … is ka matlab hai kay yeh naukari mujhay nahi mil sakti

 

  • Baitay ka result card daikh kar baap nay ghusay say garajtay howay kaha …. khuda ki pahna .. yeh result hai tumhara ..? … 20 bachon ki class mein tum akhiri number per aay hoo .. iss say bora result mein nay aaj tak nahi daikha ….. …  abu kia humay khuda ka shukar nahi ada karna chayay kay class mein 20 say zaiada bachay nahi thay ? .. baitay nahi masomiat say jawab dia ..

 

  • Saas har waqt baho ko manhoos kahti rahti thee . jab baho kay baiti paida hoi tu saas bhuhat khush hoi .. baho nay iss say khushe hi wajha pouche tu iss nay jawab dia  … agar baita hota tu aik aur manhoos iss ghar mein aa jati ….

 

  • 2 Sardar coffee shop mein bathay thay   … 1st: “jaldee pee yaar, coffee thandi ho jayai gi” 2nd: “Tu kia? 1st: arey bay waqoof, menu card parh!!! HOT COFFEE Rs.20/- & COLD COFFEE Rs. 40/-
  • Mareez: dr. sahib mujhe lagta hai meri yadaasht chali gai hai, Dr.: chalo nuskha likhne se pehle mera bill ada kar du
  •  Munna Bhai: Aay circuit, baapu bole to gandhi ji kapde kyu nahi pehantay thay? Circuit: Bhai bole toh bapu bhi us time ke salmaan khan thay!!!

 

  • Medician ka professor university mein talba ko lecture day raha tha …. iss say koi fareeq nahi parta kay tareqa elaj aalupaithe ho ya homeopathe ho ya tib-e-yonani kyounkay saray rastay qabar ki taraf jatay hain .

 

  • Suna hai naae mulazmat mein tumhay bhuhat azadi hasal hai …. haan noo bajay say phalay min chaoon wahan ja sakta hoon ..aur panch bajay kay bad jab chaoon uth kar aa sakta hoon …

 

  • Aik sardar nay dosray sardar ko phone kia aur bola , haan ge mein bool raha hoon , dosra sardar bola ,  kamal hai aathay  ve mein bool raha hoon ..

 

  • Lalu apnay P.A  say  , itnay khilari football ko kyoun laat mar rahay hain ,  P.A   goal karnay kay liyay  Lalu  ,  susra baal tu phalay hi goal hai aur kitna goal karay gay …

 

  • Sardar to Shopkeeper:- Mujhe India Ka Flag Dikhao, Shopkeeper ne Flag dikhaya. Sardar: – Isme aur Colour Dikhao.

 

  • MUNNA BHAI : Chand  toh raat ko nikalta hai, aaj din mein kaise nikal aya? GIRL : Ullu to raat ko bolta hai, aaj din mein kaise bol para?

 

  • Pathan aik unchi pahari kay siray par baitha kitab parh raha tha kisi nay pocha kia kar rahay hoo ..  pathan ,  ooye higher studies …

 

  • Girl:mai tumharey liye sub kuch chor du gi

Boy: ma baap
Girl:Yes
Boy: khana penna
Girl: Yes
Boy: sari dunya
Girl: Yes
Boy:Star Plus
Girl: apna mou sambhal kar baat karo…!!!

  • Chintoo Bhai Aik Baar Car Factory Gaey Jab Wo Central Minister The ….Car Factory Ke Manager Ne Kaha

Manager: Chintoo Bhai Ap Ko Mein Aik Car Free Doon Ga
Chintoo : Nahi Mein Ap Se Free Mein Car Nahi Le Sakta
Manager : Chaliye Janab … 500 Rupe Mein Car Le Lejiye
Chintoo : (Khusi Se ) Chalo … Phir To Mujhe Do Cars De Do ..

  • Chintoo : (Doctor Se ), Mein Jab Baat Karta Huun To Muje Sirf Awaaz Sunai Deti Hai, Aadmi Nahi Dikhta.

Docter : Aaisa Kab Hota Hai?
Chintoo: Phone Karte Waqt.

 

  • Chintoo Ne Cycle Chalate Chalate Lady Ko Mar Di

Lady,’ Break Nahi Mar Sakta Tha Kya?
Chintoo : ‘Break Ka Kya Hai, Poori Cycle To Mar Di…..’

 

  • Chiman: Aap Kitna Parhe Ho?

Friend: B.A.

Chiman: Kamal Karte Ho Yaar Sirf Do Word Padhe Aur Woh Bhi Ulte.

 

  • Chintoo Aur Mintoo Picnic Per Ja Rahe The , Itne Mein Chintoo Gana Gane Lag Gaya

Chintoo : Kis Ka Hai Ye Tum Ko Inteezar Mein Hoon Na

Kuch Deer Ke Baad Chintoo Bus Mein Ulta Latak Gaya Aur Gane Laga

Chintoo : Kaho Na Kaho , Oo Sanam Oo Sanam

Mintoo ( Pareshan Ho Kar ) : Kya Howa Chintoo Yar Ye Ulte Latak Kar Gana Kyoon Ga Rahe Ho

Chintoo : Yar Side B Gaa Raha Hoon

 

  • Chintoo Aur Mintoo Aik Bar India Gaey Aur Kisi Ne On Ko Kuch Ziyda Pila Di

Chintoo : Yar Tujhe Maloom Hai … Bharat Aur Hindustan Ki Jang Hone Wale Hai

Mintoo : Yar Tum Fikar Kyoon Karte Ho , Hum To India Mein Hein Na

 

  • Chintoo : Yar Mintoo ! Ye Bata Ye Rocket Plane Se Taiz Kaise Urta Hai

Mintoo : Abhey Tere Peche Kisi Ne Aag Laga Din A To Pata Chale Ga

 

  • Chintoo : Yar !! Mintoo Ye Sab Logh Bagh Kyoon Rahe Hein

Mintoo : Yar Ye Race Laga Rahe Hein Cup Jeetne Ke Liye

Chintoo : To Cup Kis Ko Mile Ga

Mintoo : Jo Race Jete Ga

Chintoo : To Baqi Sab Kyoon Bagh Rahe Hein !

 

  • Doctor nay pathan say kaha , app ka aur app ki biwi ka blood group aik hai ,   pathan     ,   ho ga zarror ho ga … pachees saaal say woh hamara khoon paita hai ….

 

  • Biwi  ,  mein mar jaoon gi ,  shohar  ,, mein bhe mar jaoon ga  ,, biwi mein tu bimar hoon tum kyoun maroo gay .. shohar ,,  mein itni khushe bardasht nahi kar sakta ..

 

  • Aik sardar kisi hotel mein gia aur chicken ka order dia  ,, waiter chicken lia tu sardar bola  , murge di tang kithay aay  , waiter bola , wo lagra tha  , sardar  , Dil ?  waiter , wo murge lay gaye  ,  sardar damagh ,  waiter , murgha sardar tha ….

 

  • Sardar ko school mein kaisay paichan saktay hain ? …..   yeh wohi ho ga jo apni kitab say lafz mita raha ho ga jab ustab board say mita raga ho ga
  • Aik sardar ji London jo pohanchay, unhon nay ghar set kernay kay leay sub say pehlay T.V khareednay ki sochi, aur aik baray store kay andar gaey aur wahan aik counter per salesman say poocha kay, “Yay T.V. kitnay ka hai” ?“Hum sikhon ko T.V. nahi bechtay”. Salesman nay tika sa jawab deya. Sardar Ji ko jhatka zore say hi lag gaya aur unhon nay Guru ki qasam khai kay yahi T.V. khareedoon ga. Dosray din Sardar Ji getup badal ker black glasses laga ker aur mukhtalif dress main gaey aur phir salesman kay pass je ker poocha kay, “Yay T.V. kitnay ka hai” ? “Hum sikhon ko T.V. nahi bechtay”. Salesman nay phir wohi jawab deya. Sardar Ji phir hairaan hoey kay kay itnay mukhtalif getup main bhi salesman nay unhain kaisay pehchaan leya, saath hi woh aur ziada gussay aur zid main aa gaey.  Teesray din Sardar Ji nay clean shave kiya aur pagri tak utar ker apna grtup qatai mukhlatif ker leya aur ja pohanchay usi store main aur phir salesman say sawal kiya: “Yay T.V. kitnay ka hai” ? “Hum sikhon ko T.V. nahi bechtay”. Salesman nay itmenaan say phir wohi jawab deya. Ab to Sardar Ji ka gussa bohat berh gaya. Forth day woh ladies getup main usi store ja pohanchay aur phir wohi sawal kiya. “Yay T.V. kitnay ka hai” ? “Hum sikhon ko T.V. nahi bechtay”. Salesman ka phir wohi jawab tha. Ab Sardar Ji nau himmat haar di aur intehaai aajizi say salesman say mukhatib hoey . “Bhai aik baat to batao …………….. main itnay getup badal badal ker aata raha hoon aur tum her dafa mujhay pehchaan laitay ho. Akhir kaisay” ??? Salesman nay itmenaan say jawab deya “jisay char din say aap T.V. keh rahay hain woh der asal Washing Machine hai”.

More Funny Urdu Jokes:

  • Aik habshee se pathan ne pucha k tm kon ho?

Habshee:main titanic ka hero hoon.

Pathan hairaangi se bola:

Titanic tou dooba tha jala tou nai thaJ

 

 

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