Latest Urdu Jokes in English Writing

Aik gadha  kisi ghar ki diwar say kaan laga kar khara tha . aik bakri ka wahan say guzar howa iss say pocha …gadhay bhai tum yahan kia kar rahay ho …  gadha … andar do admi lar rahay hai aur woh dono aik dosray ko gadhay ka bacha kah rahay hai mein yeh maloom karna chahta hoon kay in dono mein say mera bacha koun sa hai ..

 

Du chohay aik jungle mein ja rahay thay achanak in mei say ail nay khoufzadda ho kar chalana shuruh kar dia ..
phala choha … woh daikhoo samnay say sheer aa raha hai aur hamay daikh kar dhar raha hai ….. dosra choha ….  (seena taan kar ) aray tum kyoun fikar kartay hoo . woh aik hai aur hum do …

 

Husband aur Wife Hotel me gaye tabhi 1 Lady ne Hello kiya, Wife nay pocha,”Koun Thi Wo?” Husband:-Tum dimag kharab mat karo, main pehle hi pareshan hu ki woh bhi Yehi puchegi.

 

1 larka apni g/f k liya choorian le k jata hai.            g/f:khud hi pehna do.boy mujhay nahi pta tha k itna acha response milay ga warna mein kapray lay ata.

 

Aik sardar kafi dair se apne marriage certificate ko bohat ghor se dekh raha tha us ki bewi ne kaha”tusi ki wekhdy pai ho?”Sardar:”EXPIRY DATE nai mil de pai”

 

An Aero plane asked 2 a rocket !Yaar tu kiddi taiz chalna a,ki raaz a? The rocket said ! “Puter Tere thaly kisay ne agg lai hove te tenu pta lagay”.

 

Boy: Mein last time pooch raha hoon, kya tum mujhse shaadi karogi?Girl: Nahin..Boy: Soch lo..Girl: Kaha na nahin..Boy: Waiter! Bill alag alag lana…

 

Ek Pathan Ye Sochta raha sari Zindgi Sochta raha..sochta raha..Aur soctay soctay hi mar gaya kay..Meri behan kay 2 Bhai hei to mera 1 Kyun .. ?

 

Umer cycle per kaheen ja raha tha kay cycle aik aurat say ja takra i , aurat dard say karhatay hoi boli , break nahi mar sakta tha kia ,  umer bola   ,  break kia hai puri cycle tu mar di hai .

 

Shohar kitchen mein dakhil howa , sugar box khol kar daikha aur phir band kar dia , oski biwi sab daikh rahi thee ,  dosri bar shohar na phir yehi kia tu biwi nay pocha ,   kia kar rahay ho ?  shohar  ,  doctor nay kaha  tha  sugar level baqaydgi say check kartay rahna ..

 

Aik aadmi apni biwi ko dafna kar wapis ja raha tha ,  kay achanak bijli chamki , badal garje zor say barish shuruh ho gaye , dukhi admi bola lagta hai pohunch gaye ..

Aik pathan nay aik khoubsorat aurat ko purpose kia ,   aurat boli mein tum say  aik saal bari hoon ,  pathan bola ooye koi baat nahi mein tum say ail saal bad shadi banay ga ..

 

Aik sikh say kisi nay pocha  , aqal bari ya bhens ?    tu sikh thora sochnay kay bad bola phalay dono ki umer batao ….

 

Aik dost  … yaar aaj hamari murgee nay anda dia …….dosra …. yeh koun see bari baat hai …. phala dost … agar yeh bari baat nahi tu tum day kar dikhaoo ….

 

Aik aadmi  jungle say guzar raha tha kay aik sheer samnay aa gia …. sheer nay kaha  .. aaj mein tumjara khoon piyoun ga …. aadmi …. mera koun tu thanda hai pichay ail nojawan aa raha hai os ka koun garam hai tum os ka koun peena ….   sheer ….  nahi aaj mera dil cold drink peenay ko chah raha hai ….

 

Jildi amraz kay aik doctor say kisi nay pocha  ….. aap nay khas tor per yeh line kyoun ikhtiar ki ? … doctor nay jawab dia … is ki teen bari wajehat haim  . phali yeh hai kay meray marees raat ko nahi jagatay ..dosra yeh kay woh martay nahi .. tisri hai kay woh kabhi theek nahi hotay ….

 

Aik faqeer …. baigum sahiba .. app kay paas bhokay kay liyay khana hai …..  baigum sahiba ….. haan hai .laikin woh bhoka abhi daftar say aaya nahi ….

 

Mota aadmi …(dublay aadmi say) … tumhay daikh kar aasa lagta hai jaisay dunya mein qaht par gia hai … dubla aadmi ..  aur tumhay daikh kar aasa lagta hai jaisay yeh qaht tumhari wahja say para hai ….

 

Aik sardar g dokaan per gaye tu wahan ja ker un ki nazar thermos per perhi

unhoon ney dukaan dar sey pocha yeh kya cheeze hai?

dukaan dar ney jawab diya iss ko thermos kehtey hain

sardar g ney phir pocha yeh kiss maqsad key liyeh kaam atta hai?

dukaan dar ney kaha yeh thandi cheeze ko thanda rakhti hai aur garam cheeze ko garam

sardar g yeh thermos khreed li aur aglay rooz office lay gaey….

un key collegue ney pocha yeh kya cheeze hai: pochnay walay bhi sardar g theey

pehlay sardar g ney bataya key yeh thermos hai aur thandi cheese ko thanda aur garam ko garam rakhti hai…..

tu collegue ney pocha tu aap kya laye hain sardar g ney kaha coffee and rooh afza…………….

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