Funny Urdu Husband & Wife Jokes SMS in English Writing

  • Shohar (husband) ne chewing-gum khareed ke biwi (wife) ko dee…Biwi: aap ne kiun nahin li?..Shohar: main tou waise bhi khamosh reh sakta hon
  • Ek admi sardar jee se:ap ko kabhe kisi se pyar hoa? sardar jee:han yar per woh manti he nahe.admi: kia kehti hai?sardar jee: kehti hai I love u 2.pta nahe ye dusra kamina kon hai.
  • Biwi ne shoher se 100 rupee mange tu shoher ne intehai ghusse bhare lehje mein kaha tumhe hr waqt bs peson ki zarorat rehti hai mein samajhta hon k tumhe peson se ziyada aaql ki zarorat hai.biwi berjasta boli tumhare pas jo cheez hai mein woh he mangon gi na.
  • Shoher gari se utra tu biwi ne bari khushi se uss ka istaqbal kia.shoher ne kaha’muaf karna darling mein tumhare liye woh bander na la saka jis ka wada kar k gaya tha.biwi ne berjasta kaha:koi baat nahe tum a gae yehe kafi hai.
  • Biwi:iss sal roze rakho ge?shoher:nahe.biwi:namaz parho ge:shoher:mushkil hai.biwi:iftari karo ge?shoher:zahir hai kia ab bilkol he kafir ho jaon.
  • Biwi:suna hai k jannat mein shoher ko biwi k sath nahe rehne dein ge.shoher sahe suna hai.biwi:esa keun.shoher:pagli isi liye tu usse jannat kehte hein.
  • Dr:ap k 3 dant kese tot gae?marez:jee woh biwi ne karak roti bnai thee.Dr:tu khane se inkar kar dete.marez:jee wohe tu kia tha.
  • Ek admi susral gaya.saas ne pocha:keun beta khane mein kaddu shareef pka lein?damad:mein gunha gar bnda hon’kaddu shareef k qabil kahan koi be-gherat sa murgh paka lein.
  • Biwi se zindagi banti hai jannat bhi jahannum bhi’ye shadi apni fitrat mein na mari hai na changi hai.
  • Aaqal mand admi jab koi eham fesla karta hai tu bohat sochta hai dil aur dimagh ki suntan hai halat ko parakhta hai dalel ko zere ghor lata hai positive aur negative points dekhta hai apne waleden aur behan bhaiyon se rae leta hai aur akhir mein karta wohe hai jo uss ki BIWI kehti hai.
  • Shoher:tumhai roz roz ki fermaishon se tng a gaya hon iss liye khudkushi karne jar aha hon.biwi:2,3 safeed suit tu la dein iddat mein kia pehno gi.
  • Saas ne apni bahu se kaha aj tu bohat raat ho gai tumhara shoher abhe tak nahe aaya lagta haik woh kisi dosri aurat k pas chala gaya.bahu ne jawab diya’amma kabhe tu achi baat kar liya karo ye bhi tu ho sakta hai k woh kisi truck k neche a k mar khap gaya ho.
  • Bhole ne iss liye shadi ki thee k usse hamdardi aur muhabbat ki zarorat thee.shadi k baad jab se iss k parosiyon ne iss ki saas ko dekha hai bhole ko apne parosiyon ki sachi hamdardi hasil ho gai hai.
  • Ek aurat ne new sim kharidi aur socha k apne shoher (husband) ko surprise don gi. Shoher kamre mein betha tha woh kitchen mein gai aur shoher ko new number se call ki ‘hello darling’ shoher ne madham awaz mein jawab diya’please tum mujhe baad mein call karna abhe churail kitchen mein hai.
  • Ek sahib ne apne dost se keh rahe thee ye barish tu rukne ka naam he nahe le rahe, meri biwi ko ghar se gae 3 ghante ho gae hein, pta nahe kahan ho gi? Dost ne taslli dete hoe kaha: fikar na karo woh a jae gi. Fikar ki he tu baat hai, kahein usse koi hadsa na pesh a gaya ho, ya kisi ne usse aghwa na kar liya ho ya phir mumkin hai k woh shopping kar rahe ho. Unn sahb ne karhate hoe baat jari rakhi, khuda na kare k woh shopping kar rahe ho.
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