Urdu Jokes – Roman Urdu Jokes – Funny Lataef (English , Urdu)

Urdu Jokes – Roman English, Urdu Jokes

 

  • Mareez:doctor se mere danton main dard rehta hay or ab to danto main kerah bhi lag gya hay.bataye doctor sahib main kya karon? …..Doctor….aap aik mahn tak ras or chay lein is ke alawa kuch na khayein .                                                                                                         Aik mahn tak mareez rozana sirf or sirf chaye or ras par guzara karta raha magar aik din ras  khatam ho gye jis par mareez ne socha ke chalo aj main sirf chaye pee leta hun.aaj guzara ho hi jaye ga. kal ras le aaon ga magar kere ko acha na laga,foran bahir nikal kar kehne laga…….  Uncle aj ras nahi hay kya.

 

  • Ustaad……….roshni ko jumle main istamal karo…..  Shagird………kamre main Andhra hay.                                                                             Ustaad………nalaik is jumle main roshni kahan hay?   Shagird ……..janab light gai hoi hay.

 

  • Ustaad  …….  Dastakari kese kehte hain?     Shagird …….jo zordar darwaze par dastak de ise dastakari kehte hain.

 

  • Beta…..aba jan mere liye bazaar se sab se acha phal lete ana .                                                     Baab  …..sab se acha phal sabar hay”lehaza tum sabar karo.
  • Railway station par bethe aik mosafar ne railway ke afsor se kaha…..                                                                                     “agar tamam garian late hain to is bare se time table ka kya faida jo aap ne latkaya hoa hay?”                                                                                                        police officer pehle hi guse main tha or bola.                                                                                             “agar tamam garian waqt par ane lagi to phir kaho ge is bare se waiting room ka kya faida.

 

  • Aik din ustaad ne class main kaha  ke kal har larka angrezi main baat kare ga.dosre din aik                                                                                                 shagird der se aya,ustaad ne der se ane ki waja pochi to shagird bola”oo my master.raste main gode gode water,rain is hoing.mai paon pehsalte I am garam .isi liye today I am late.

 

  • Aik sahib ne apne naye mulazam se kaha  ja kar bazaar se aalu or gost le aao nokar ne         kaha……janab main is sher main niya hun kahin kho jaon, chunachawoh sahib khud hi bazaar se saman le aye.ghar aa kar unho ne nokar se kaha ke lo ab pakao.is ne jawab diyaise sui gas par pakan nahi aata.in sahib ne khud khana tyar kar liya.phir mulazim ko awaz di aao khana kha lo.who bola”bar bar inkar karna acha nahi lagta .muje sharam aa rehi hay is liye kha leta hun.

 

  • Doctor ……mulazim se jao jaldi se doctor ko le aao meri tabyat kharab hay.                                                                                                                                      Mulazim ne jawab diya….aap to kudh doctor hain aap apna alaj kune nahi karte.                                                                                                                                    Doctor ne jaldi se jawab diya ……bewaqoof meri fees bohot zyada hay.

 

  • Alama Igbal ke bacpan ka waqia hay ke inhen ustaad ne imllah likhwai to Alama Iqbal ne galat ko galt likha.ustaad ne kaha,galat t se likha jata hay.na ke te se is par Alama Iqbal ne jawab diya,galat ko galat hi likhna chaye.

 

  • Aik sahab doctor ke pas gye or bole.                                                                                                   “doctor sahid!muje raat ko neend nahi ati”                                                                                                doctor ne pocha”kya kaam karte ho”?                                                                                                 mareez ne kaha “main motor machanic hun”                                                                                          doctor ne kaha”acha to tum is maze ke nechy late jao’neend aa jaye gi.”

 

  • Mehman mehzban se:apne bachy ko samjao who meri joti main pani la raha hay.                                                                                                         Mehzban:who to mere bhai ka bacha hay.mera bacha to who hay jo aap ki topi main pani la raha  hay.
  • Admi:kune beta.tumhare ghar par hain?                                                                                        Larka:nahi uncle bahir gye hoye hain.                                                                                                Admi:kab loten gain?                                                                                                                           Larka:jab app chalein jayen gain.

 

  • School main gapu mian se ustaad ne pocha.angrezon ne Hindustan main pehla kadam rekhty                                                                                                                                                                      kya kiya?                                                                                                                                               Gapu mian ne bari sanjedagi se kaha,janab unho ne dosra kadam rakha.

 

  • Gapu mian se kisi ne sawal kiya beta tumhein kon se parende pasand hain.                                                                                                                                                Gapu ne bari mtanat se jawab diya ,jee who bhone hoye tetar bater.

 

  • Nanne mian rote hoye maan ke pas aaye  maan ne pocha ke beta kune ro rehy ho?                                                                                                                Nanne ne rote hoye kaha.dekhye na ammi,abu darwaze main keel thok rehy the ke hathori un ke  hath se chot kar pain main aa lagi.                                                                                                            Maan ne kaha.aare bhai is main  rone ki kya baat hay ,esi baaton par to hans diya karte hain.nanne ne muh basorte hoye kaha ke main hansa hi to tha.

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